


Legs are Required

by lovelesslybeloved



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 03:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelesslybeloved/pseuds/lovelesslybeloved
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A horrible accident leaves Haru re-evaluating his life and how to move forward. After all doesn't most forward movement require legs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legs are Required

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic to post on AO3 and I hope everyone enjoys it! Like this one most of my work will be one shots. Feel free to comment with anything to improve! I look forward to posting more and please feel free to find me on Fanfiction.net to look at my previous works!

It had been a sunny, very ordinary day with the waves crashing almost gingerly across the sandy expanse of beach. It was rare now a days for Haru to go swimming in the ocean but sometimes it provided the best practice for him. It was a Sunday and Makoto sat on the beach, reading his textbooks for college while Haru pulled the zipper up his back to close up his wet suit. He glanced back at Makoto before walking out into the surf before he dived in. The water welcomed him as it usually did with a guiding pull out to deeper waters. Haru would have gladly stayed there forever if he could. If Makoto could stay here too at least. He closed his eyes as he surfaced and floated along the top of the waves, gently tossing, creating a soothing rocking motion. He sighed and opened his eyes looking up at the sky as blue as the ocean in a different tone.

He grabbed his goggles from around his neck and pulled them up into place before he began to swim parallel to the beach. His year and a half of training after high school has only made him a stronger swimmer. Competitions were coming up and this was one of his last days off before he would begin intensive practices with his coach. Makoto also had his finals around the corner so they would both be busy. Haru had promised only a few hours of swimming, then they could have the entire evening to themselves. 

His arms carried him through the water, cutting through and pushing him forward as he accelerated down the coast line. Makoto was a blurry dot in the sand by the time Haru stopped and headed back towards him. The water of the ocean created a certain tension against his body, using more strength to swim the same distance he could easily do in a pool. It was a unique experience to swim in the ocean though he certainly preferred the pool. He dove under the water as a particularly rough wave crashed over head. 

Thinking nothing much of the wave, he surfaced again and began swimming along. It was an easy swim and before he knew it he was almost back to where he had started. He paused, bobbing in the water a moment, looking at the coast line to where Makoto sat, his glasses reflecting the sunlight. Haru almost got the smile out before he saw colors as a wave collided with his head, pushing him straight underwater. 

He had grabbed the smallest gulps of air before being shoved down but his head was spinning and aching and he really wasn’t sure which way was back up to the surface. He looked around and began swimming in the direction he believed to be the surface. Luckily, he broke the water and pulled a deep breath of air into his lungs as he looked around wildly. He had barely grabbed his bearings before the biggest and toughest wave grabbed him and pulled harshly towards the rocky outcropping near the coast. That was odd. He thought he was well clear of that area but as his body got thrown into the rocks, his back slammed so hard the next thing he saw was black and all he felt was pain and numbness. 

Coughing was difficult when one was in pain, Haru decided as he evacuated his lungs of water as best he could. Makoto was soaking wet and he realized that Makoto must have swam in the ocean again, this time to save him. Haru winced in pain as he tried to shift to sit up. 

“M-Makoto..” he ground out as his teeth clenched together to withstand the pain. He tried to squirm or shift to relieve the pain but nothing was working and in fact... 

Blue eyes widened in pained panic as he looked at up green eyes and then down his body the best he could. His legs were still there but they weren’t reacting at all. They just laid there as though separate pieces. He swallowed thickly and looked back up to Makoto. 

“I’ve already called an ambulance Haru.. Just lay still for a little bit longer. You’re going to be okay.” Makoto was saying and Haru realized for the first time since coughing up the water that Makoto had been talking the whole time. 

Haru was breathing heavy and the slight shifts in his body were agonizing and why weren’t his legs moving?! THEY SHOULD BE MOVING! 

“Makoto! M-My legs!?” he reached towards Makoto and even his hands were sluggish to respond, but they did move to his bidding at least and he grabbed Makoto’s soaked dress shirt. 

“You hit the rocks Haru. I’m not sure what happened but you ended up over near the rocks and you were unconscious. You might have hit your back Haru. Just calm down okay? You might do more damage.” Makoto tried to calm him down but the pain was so horrible and his legs still weren’t moving. 

The damn things weren’t even twitching. Were they even trying? 

Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and it wasn’t often he cried but he hurt and his legs weren’t working and he wasn’t really sure what was going to happen. In the distance an ambulance siren finally whirled and then there were people who weren’t Makoto coming in and lifting him up, pulling a sharp cry of pain from his throat as he was settled on a stretcher. He was breathing hard and Makoto’s face was in his line of sight again and his lips were moving but the words were cutting in and out. 

The ceiling of the vehicle came into view and once he was settled in the back of the ambulance, Makoto next to him on a small bench with the EMT’s around him. He realized for the first time now that he was cold and shivering. He heard the word Shock being thrown around but he wasn’t shocked or surprised by what was happening. Why would he be shocked? A huge blanket was being pulled up around him as best they could while another EMT was pushing in an IV line and a heart rate sensor was placed on his finger. An oxygen mask was also slipped around his head and he looked around confused, he was breathing fine wasn’t he? 

Finally his blue eyes looked to Makoto and he looked so pale. Like maybe he was the one who should be getting hooked up to all these machines. He closed his eyes slowly and when they opened them again he was looking around as the hallways of a hospital as they blurred past his eyes making him feel sick to his stomach on top of the pain. He closed his eyes again and slowly looked up as the fluorescent lighting indistinctly slipped by. Then a doctor was in his face asking questions and Haru could only hear about every other word. Did he know where he was? Who he was? These were stupid questions right now but he grunted out the answers as best he could. 

His bed was pulled to a skidding halt and Haru couldn’t help the cry of pain again as his body was yanked by the momentum they had been moving with. He was breathing heavy and was glad for the mask pumping oxygen against his face finally. Words were thrown over his head and finally they moved again, gingerly picking up pace as they wheeled him the rest of the way to the ICU. ICU? What were his injuries? 

\-------  
It was days later when Haru finally started to feel even a fraction better from when he had been brought in now. Makoto had been a trooper and stayed with him as much as possible. Nagisa and Rei even came to visit once they were allowed. He looked over at the wall that had the newest set of x rays. He swallowed thickly and looked away from them. Since arriving he had probably had enough x rays to fill a photo album. They all show cased his spinal column in various degrees of repair as they tried to fix him. Apparently when that wave had slammed into him, throwing him into the rocks, the rocks had not only punctured his skin causing some minor scrapes and cuts along his skin, but it had also been enough to break his spine and damage the nerves in the spinal cord. His vertebrae had been cracked and broken so the first surgery he went through that night had been to go in and remove the small broken pieces so they wouldn’t shift and cause more damage to the spinal cord. After that it had been minor surgeries to try to repair the damage from the rocks, removing the pieces that had been embedded in his back and then he had been laid in a bed for the rest of the time, drifting in and out of consciousness, he was on a small morphine drip, just enough to keep the edge of the pain off for now though he heard the nurses talking about taking him off it soon.

Haru had barely spoken throughout the ordeal really. It was about eight days since the injury and about three since he learned he most likely would never regain use of his legs again. Their shapes made silhouettes through the blankets and Haru for a moment hated his legs. His arms were barely spared so they were slow to respond for now but with physical therapy they would improve. His hands finally formed the fists he was thinking of to vent out his frustrations. 

Once his back healed from the surgeries he would be able to sit up and with support, most likely live a full life. Haru wasn’t sure how he was suppose to live without his legs. What kind of life could he hope to live without swimming any more? What about Makoto? They lived together currently but he surely wouldn’t want to stay with Haru now who could barely function on his own. He looked back at the x ray and even to him that knew next to nothing of spines and injuries and hospitals, could tell there was something wrong just below the middle of his back. 

He closed his eyes and tried to get some more sleep, mostly because he wanted to block out this world. He was almost asleep when pain, worse than the actual injury shot up from his legs. He scrambled barely grabbing the call button as a cry of pain tore through his room and down the hallway. Nurses came running and he was almost sitting up, his arms reaching towards his legs trying to clutch at them or move them or anything to relieve the pain. The nurses moved in, pulling him back to lay down, saying his back wasn’t ready for this and that his legs weren’t actually in pain. He knew what he was feeling and they hurt! What was wrong with these nurses! They restrained him down and increased his morphine drip again and slowly the pain ebbed away. He was still breathing hard as they undid his restraints and spoke to him in soft words. 

“Nanase-san what you experienced in phantom pain. Your legs weren’t actually hurting. Your spine is damaged so it will misfire sometimes telling your brain that you are hurting when you actually aren’t.” they explained it so simply but all it did was raise more questions. 

“So.. I’ll always have pain like that? The spine damage is permanent isn’t it?” Haru asked looking down at his legs, still as ever. 

The nurses looked at each other before sharing a sympathetic glance to him and that was all Haru needed to know about the topic. He frowned and looked away from all of them. What was the point in having the stupid things if they’d only bring him pain. He sighed and this time when he closed his eyes, he fell right to sleep as the morphine blocked the pain. 

\------

It had been almost a month since the injury and Haru had been deemed healed enough to go home, provided he continue with his physical therapy and that someone stay with him most of the time to assist him till he learned to cope. First thing he got home he wanted to take a bath but wasn’t allowed for three more days yet. Makoto helped wheel in the wheelchair they had on loan from the hospital till the one they ordered for him came in. Haru noticed that at some point Makoto had made everything wheelchair accessible which was convenient but made Haru so much more aware of being confined to this chair. He sighed and looked around their small apartment. They were lucky there was an elevator they could use so they could continue to live here. As it was they barely had enough with Makoto’s small part time job and Haru’s winnings from his races. He looked down at his legs, placed awkwardly on the foot rests. His coach had already been notified of his forced retirement and while his coach was sad and sorry to see him go, Haru heard off handedly from Nagisa that he already had a new swimmer to coach. 

He wasn’t upset at the water. He could never hate something so magnificent as the ocean, as water. It was a cruel twist of fate that he wasn’t strong enough to be with the water accordingly. It was his body’s fault for not being strong enough. His hands finally balled up into fists again. Makoto frowned softly, noticing Haru’s hands and he moved Haru to settle next to the couch. Makoto sat down and lifted Haru’s leg gently. Slowly his hands began moving over the skin and muscles there, rubbing and massaging. Blue eyes widened as he looked at Makoto startled. 

“Makoto you don’t need to do that today, they did it at the hospital before I left.” he murmured willing his leg to move but finding it stubbornly in place, in Makoto’s hands.  
Smiling up at Haru with his usual smile he shook his head, “I know you don’t need it but I want to help you however I can. They said that with enough work you might be able to get partial movements with them. You could maybe stand someday with braces and- “ 

“MAKOTO” Haru yelled cutting Makoto off suddenly, his hands trembling in his lap, “That doesn’t matter anymore. Even partial use won’t ever be good enough to swim again. I’m done Makoto. I’m useless if I can’t swim. It was the only thing I was good at and enjoyed.” he mumbled looking at the limb in Makoto’s hands. 

Even after only a month his legs looked thinner and bonier. The muscles were already deteriorating and there was nothing anyone, even Haru, could do about it. He was so unbelievably frustrated at this situation. 

“Swimming was the only thing you enjoyed? The only thing you were good at? Haru you are good at cooking, good at making me smile and encouraging me to pursue my own goals. You don’t need your legs for any of that! And..I don’t want to speak for you but I thought that you enjoyed being with me? I know I’m not amazing at swimming like Rin is or anything but I’ll always be here for you..” Makoto’s words trailed off with a sad look on his face. 

The doctors had warned Makoto that this would happen. Haru had been so active and dependent on his legs that losing them like this was bound to create frustrations and depression in Haru. Makoto had to be open and receptive and make sure that he was there for Haru. The doctor didn’t really need to tell him that last part. He was pretty sure he would stay with Haru till the end of the time so long as Haru would let him. He smiled up at Haru again a little more confidently in his words. 

Haru sat there stunned for a moment before he looked away embarrassed, “S-Sorry Makoto. You.. you’re right. My legs aren’t the end of my life. I just.. I feel really lost right now. I… How...How am I supposed to cope with this?” Haru looked down at his legs lost and clearly broken mentally from this experience. 

“Well.. I don’t have an answer for that Haru. But… but we will get through it together. Just stay strong and I’ll stay near and we will manage this somehow. The world hasn’t stopped spinning. We will make it somehow.” Makoto murmured putting the leg he had been working with down and collecting the second leg to work on. 

Haru nodded slowly and peaked at Makoto softly before swallowing and asking, “Do you think we could make Mackerel for dinner tonight?” 

Makoto smiled so brightly to see a glimmer of Haru back that he nodded quickly in agreement, “Absolutely Haru.”

\--------

It had been two months now. Haru had mostly adjusted to his life at home and while he didn’t go out often, he was content. Makoto however was another story. He was concerned that the once proud swimmer was confining himself and that he needed to get out more. Makoto considered a few options and quickly decided the best option. He called Haru’s physical therapist to make sure it would be alright and after approval quickly set some plans into motion. 

The next morning Haru got awake at his usual time of about seven thirty in the morning. He hauled his legs over the side of the bed first after sitting up. Then pulled his custom wheelchair over to him before carefully maneuvering his body into the chair. Carefully he set his legs into the sling and wheeled himself over to the bathroom. He didn’t take as many baths anymore as it was incredibly difficult to manage by himself. He did shower down though by himself and that independence was worth more than sitting in the water. He brushed his hair out and did the same with his teeth before rolling down the hallway to the kitchen to start making breakfast. He didn’t usually get this far with Makoto waking up and trailing after him to reach for things he couldn’t. 

Breakfast had also become much more simple for him now. He usually just made eggs and toast and let it be at that. Today was much the same. He loaded his plate and set it in his lap before wheeling over to the kitchen table and setting his plate on that surface. Slowly he started eating and wasn’t really surprised when a glass of juice was placed in front of his plate within his reach. 

“You slept in today” Haru commented as more of an observation than anything else as Makoto came to sit across the table from Haru with a smile on his face. 

“Mmm” Makoto hummed appreciatively, “Lets go out today Haru okay?” Makoto asked as he watched the other eat slowly. 

Haru shrugged half heartedly and glanced to Makoto, “Where to?” 

Makoto returned the shrug, “I have a few errands and would enjoy the company” was all he left it at, “Come on Haru, just for today come out with me. We haven’t been out together in so long.” Makoto urged. 

Haru seemed disinterested but nodded in agreement at that comment, “Alright I’ll come along.” 

Makoto smiled brighter and fixed himself a plate of eggs and bacon as well before sitting down and eating quickly with Haru. Then he dropped their plates in the sink to be handled later before grabbing Haru’s wheelchair and pushing him to the bedroom to get changed for the day. Even though it was mid august it was still warm so Makoto assisted Haru into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that probably at one point belonged to Makoto. Once Haru was changed, Makoto had him out the front door faster than Haru had really been prepared for. 

“Whoa Makoto are we running late for these errands?” Haru asked actually holding onto his low arm rests. 

“Mmm no I don’t think so but I am excited for it. Sorry am I going too fast?” Makoto asked slowing down as they came to the end of the hallway to wait for the elevator to take them down. 

“No its okay..” Haru murmured as the elevator door opened and his chair was pushed into the elevator and down they went to the ground floor. 

“Will we need to drive?” he asked looking up as Makoto looked down at Haru to consider. 

“No I don’t think so. I think I’ll be okay.” he looked up to watch where he was steering Haru as he pushed the wheelchair along smoothly. 

It was a short ride into town for Haru and he found himself at the market place looking at the fresh produce and fish. It was a nice atmosphere and a great afternoon for it. He looked around at everything and would never admit it but the fresh air felt good in his lung. He pulled in a deep breath and seemed to relax in his chair a bit more. Makoto noticed and smiled as they shopped for some fresh fruits and vegetables to take home. Haru couldn’t help eyeing up a fish stand as they went. Makoto took notice and paused to pick out from fresh caught mackerel as well. 

“So we rushed out here today to go grocery shopping?” Haru asked as Makoto loaded the bottom sling with their purchases in Haru’s wheelchair. 

“No this was just on the way and I thought it would be nice.” Makoto smiled and the continued on past the fresh market. 

They began into more residential area as they went and Haru was thoroughly confused as they pulled up to a building that hosted a huge indoor swimming pool.  
“Makoto..” Haru mumbled looking a bit hurt and upset by this place. 

“Just trust me Haru? You’ve always trusted me before, this is no different.” Makoto commented and in they went. 

Getting into the locker room was a bit of a challenge but Makoto managed and got Haru changed into his old swimsuit. It was a bit loose on him now but that didn’t matter too much. Makoto pulled on his own pants and then wheeled Haru out into the pool area. 

Parking the wheelchair near the seating area, Makoto came around and leaned down to help Haru get his arms around Makoto’s shoulders. It was a bit of a struggle but Makoto managed to lift Haru out and carry him over to the pool. It was the first time Haru had been back in the water like this since his injury. He didn’t mean to but he found himself clinging at little tighter to Makoto as they began walking down the ramp into the water. He didn’t feel the water at first as they went in. It wasn’t until about hip to waist area that he felt the water soothing water brush against his skin. It was… nice. To be back in the water. 

Haru loosened his hold as Makoto took them into chest deep water and simply floated around the pool, pulling Haru smoothly through the water. Haru looked for all the world like this was his first time in the water. His eyes were wide and he seemed unsure but happy with where he was. He looked up at Makoto who was smiling delightedly as he watched the other. 

“M-Makoto?” he asked as the taller came to a gentle stop in the water. 

“I know how important this is to you Haru. I couldn’t keep you from the water if my life depended on it. Yours did. You were locking yourself away in the apartment and I knew you wouldn’t fully heal like that. This is important Haru. I talked to the physical therapist and they said this would help tremendously because it takes the strain off your body but allows your legs to move about.” Makoto explained as he grabbed a kick board from the side of the pool edge and handed it to Haru. 

Haru supported himself, sliding the board under his chest. Makoto released him and moved by his legs grabbing his ankles gingerly and creating the kicking motion with Haru’s legs. It was slow going but soon enough, Haru was actually moving from the motion Makoto was creating. It was incredible. Haru hadn’t felt this amazing since before the injury. 

They swam for just a little less than an hour before Makoto was helping Haru out of the pool and wrapping him in a towel and setting him in the seating area next to his chair. Makoto began drying himself off as Haru looked up at Makoto carefully. 

“...Thank you Makoto.” he murmured, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink. 

Makoto smiled brightly and nodded, “Absolutely Haru, anything for you.” he leaned down and lightly kissed Haru’s cheek gently. 

Haru’s cheeks darkened in color considerably more and he nodded slowly.

This certainly didn’t fix everything. Haru’s legs were still useless pieces of flesh now, that the water would certainly reject if he were here by himself. However Makoto had clearly put a lot of time and consideration into this and since the water seemed to accept Makoto so easily with Haru clinging to him he supposed this was the next best thing. There was still a bit of pressure in his spine being back in the water. Being here pulled up the vague memories he had from the accident. However he could never turn away from water- he was certain of that. So he supposed that if he had to get back up to doing something this was the way to get started again no matter which direction he moved in from here on out. 

“Can we come here again? Not all the time, I know that would be difficult for you but sometimes?” Haru asked. 

“We can come whenever you like Haru, every day if you need.” Makoto explained as the towel fell away from his hair to fall onto his broad shoulders gently. 

“I… I would appreciate that, I think.” he murmured and Makoto nodded agreeably as he sat on the bench next to Haru to simply sit near the pool for a bit. 

They sat there till it was time to get started again to head home. Haru decided it was time to get started on his life again too that day.


End file.
